Welcome to Day 1

Yesterday I finally landed at 1:30 or so and got to ERC at 2. Its been snowing like CRAZY since last night! AH! All the weather drama has definitely not helped much with trying to make a smooth transition.

I moved into the apartments last night, even though they didn't want me to because I hadn't been fully oriented into the program. MAJOR stress. I wasn't sure where I'd be sleeping, where/when/what was for dinner (they were going to move me into the apartments during dinner and I'd have to eat there), etc. Craziness.

Today has been a bit better, but we're off schedule because of all the snow. I think we're supposed to be getting 10-18 inches or something!! It basically hasn't stopped snowing since I moved into the apartments (OH yeah, what ended up happening was they took my stuff over and I stayed to have dinner, and they gave me a crash course orientation).

Breakfast was pretty hard this morning. I'm not used to eating that much and keeping it down, even though I know I'll be eating more soon. I had granola, soy milk, pecans, orange juice, and coffee. I was so anxious... sometimes I feel like crying, but I haven't at all yet. I just can't even though I want to, you know? :( I'm trying to be strong. I guess its also easier going into this considering I already know what to expect, but in a way that makes it harder.

ANYWAY back to my story... I'm back at the apartments  now. I was having some trouble in the morning because I overheard a couple clique-y girls talking about me eating too slow. Which, I definitely was but GUYS cut me some slack!! Its my first dayyy :(

I brought it up to my therapist and "process group" (everyone who has the same therapist) and got some really good feedback. I feel better talking with them and I feel like we've all gotten closer in the group. We're all going to a superbowl party together so that will be fun! lol I use the term "party" loosely p.s.

Well, I'm going to go to bed now and shower and stuff. STILL SNOWING! AH! :) so wet and cold, but so so pretty outside!

Thank you guys all for your support! It means like SO FREAKIN MUCH! <3 I love you :)

Packing for Treatment

So I'm in the process of packing my things for treatment, and I thought I might as well make a list of reminders for myself and share them with you guys as well! Let me know if there's anything else to remember!!

Clothes

• loose fitting clothes for layering
• I'm going to be bringing a lot of jackets, sweatshirts/pants, t-shirts, & hoodies
• DON'T bring "sick clothes" unless you legitimately must and you plan on destroying/donating/creating art with them
• Some places don't like you to wear jackets in the dining room. Some will let you wear them turned inside out, some won't at all. One place I was at didn't even allow you to wear long hair down because of hiding food. Depending on the program, you might want to bring a few sweaters without pockets, just in case you get cold or like having something on for comfort.
• cozy pajamas
• something to remind you of home :) I have a two piece flannel set my mom bought me, that I'm pretty sure several 5 year olds have as well, but HEY they make me feel good!
• Also, you might want to bring several or be prepared to wash them, especially if you're gaining weight- your body freaks out and metabolism shoots up and you can get really gross night sweats
• bathrobe/blanket
• they may want you in a gown for vitals with nothing on besides underwear (I got told once to remove my socks...) and having something to coverup in might be of comfort. I didn't bring a robe, but plenty of people wrapped up in blankets instead- besides, it was cold!
• dress, leggings 
• just in case you want to wear something cute on pass or outings or whatever, these are generally safe to wear and not get super triggered
• I've become obsessed with bamboo fabric- ITS SO SOFT :D so I've been going to http://www.yaladesigns.com/ to get clothes. omg love that brand. amazing.
• waterproof jacket/windbreaker
• if it rains or the weather is weird, you'll have something to wear just in case. an umbrella is so bulky and chances are you won't use it. its not like you're hanging out outside much anyway, you probably don't even need this
• shoes
• some places may request no laces
• some may offer equine therapy and want shoes that work outdoors
• usually 2 pairs is good (I pick my Uggs and Wallabees)
• DON'T pack any shoes you would exercise in... just a bad idea
•  Socks, underwear, bras, the whole shabang

Toiletries

• Shampoo, soap, toothbrush, toothpaste etc.
• Razors, tweezers, mouthwash, hand sanitizer etc. (<--the obvious contraband!)
• Most places say nothing allowed with alcohol as one of the first 3 ingredients
• Many have sharps restrictions for some or all patients (includes tweezers, nail clippers, scissors, etc.) but usually you can bring them and check them out
• Some creative alternatives?
• Nail clippers--> Nail file
• Razors--> Veet
• nonalcoholic mouthwash
• nonalcoholic hand sanitizer
• Hair brushes, clips, ties, etc
• For whatever reason, I tended to wear a lot of ribbons
• I'd bring a few extras of each considering things tend to get lost, and people like doing each others hair :)
• Contraband note: some places might not allow bobby pins; some might not allow hair dryers, straighteners, hair spray, etc. or let you check them out
• Make-up, cotton balls, nail polish
• Again, bring extras, people do each others make-up and swapping nail polish colors too
• Contraband note: some places might take away q-tips. don't ask why, its more of a psych hospital thing; also, you may have to check out nail polish remover, if you bring some.
• Lotion, perfumes
• Scents have been very therapeutic for me! After meals I had a regiment where I would rub lotion on my hands and smell it during process group; it was just comforting.
• One of my friends from treatment works at an Aromatherapy shop near my house, and concocts mixtures of essential oils for sprays and soaps. IT IS AMAZING. She even made an "Eating Disorder Recovery" spray that is wonderful... I put it on everything, it makes me happy. Just thought I'd share :)
• Contraband note: some places may take away perfumes because of alcohol, so be careful if its something expensive- you might not get it back (bring sample sizes if you must). I stick with Bath and Body Works things. Its treatment.
• Feminine Items ;) ;)
• Your body is changing and you might need them. I personally would rather be prepared than have to ask. Just a thought.
• Hand soap
• I completely forgot this, and had to use body wash.
• Hand mirror
• If you have a roommate a small hand mirror might be a smart idea just in case you both use the mirror in the morning and you don't want to be crowded. I tended to avoid mirrors in treatment, others fixate on them. 
• DON'T bring one that's big or if you think it will trigger you. and keep it in your room, not in your pocket- thats not helpful.

Activities

• knitting, crocheting
• even if you don't, you'll probably learn, so at the very least bring some cute yarn!
• bananagrams
• best. game. ever.
• floss, string, beads, hemp
• for making bracelets; something you can give/send people
• masking tape
• depending on the place, you might not be allowed a tape dispenser and its really annoying asking for tape one piece at a time! masking tape you can just rip. Oh and you'd be using it for art, hanging pictures, etc.
• fabric paint/pens
• I didn't bring these, but I wished I had them to decorate stuff with friends.
• window paint/pens, window clings
• Didn't bring these either, but thought it would be fun to decorate the room :) you can also write positive affirmations on your mirror which SO helped
• silly putty, stress balls
• I like to keep my hands busy during groups, but still be able to pay attention
• personal journal
• for writing your thoughts
• notebook for groups, contact info, etc.
• BEST idea! my friend brought 2 journals- one for "public" things, one for "personal"
• binder/folder
• not everywhere gives you ones, and you will definitely collect a TON of papers!
• stamps, stationary, envelopes
• for mailing to friends :)
• any special art supplies
• for collages, for therapeutic artwork (like with old clothes or something like that), etc.
• Sharpies will probably be banned, but you can try

Other Items

• alarm clock
• who uses these anyway??! apparently people who aren't allowed cell phones...
• I have one with an iPod dock and radio- 2 birds, one stone
• blankets, stuffed animals
• at the very least it makes the room feel better, although not everywhere allows you to bring them in
• camera, iPod, laptop, cell phone
• might get taken, but probably able to check them out
• pillow, pillow case
• again, brightens the room and makes you feel comfy, but might not be allowed your own pillow
• ID, wallet, cash
• my "wallet" is actually a change purse with my ID clipped to a lanyard (easier to find that way) with my keys, mini flashlight, etc. on a ring
• quarters, laundry detergent
• not everywhere provides free laundry
• Christmas lights
• my friend brought some for her room and I was SO jealous! I might bring some with me this time, it was just so cheery and fun to have
• tote bag/book bag
• for carrying stuff around when you're on pass or not in your room during the day
• water bottle
• totally forgot one. had to buy one.
• cigarettes
• if you're ever going to start smoking (NOT that I'm advocating it) treatment is the time to do it... its a very social thing. but NOT good for you, in any way, shape, or form.
• medications
• bring a couple days worth, but not too much because they will give you their own

Obvious stuff not to bring...

• triggering ED related things- sometimes even recovery oriented things like books, etc.
• anything that measures stuff
• food (duh) or OTC meds/vitamins
• books, music, movies, etc.
• anything that could be used for self harm- sharps, etc.
• valuables
• excessive money, clothes, etc.
• anything you wouldn't want stolen/lost
• drugs/weapons of any kind

I THINK I pretty much covered everything, but I'm not positive, so let me know if you think of anything or have any tips! Love you guys <3